May 3, 2022
First Impressions: Harvest, patience, waiting
Book: Appraisal, procrastination, investment, reflect
Guidance: The rooster's call must be heeded
Journaling:
For me this call is about taking time to reflect and being patient. And this is the message that I needed to hear today. I felt like my heart was ripped out when I was told the PhD program was on hold. My initial reaction was of course that my life is over, it's never going to happen, blah, blah, blah. However, that was not what was said. What was said was that I need to be patient. I tend to jump in and fill in the blanks and not right now always ends up translating to never.
It is interesting that I got this news on the same day that the freaks in SCOTUS put Roe at risk. I don't know what the future holds, but I do know that all I can do is keep putting one foot in front of the other. I cannot control the universe and I need to be patient and see how things play out.
Where: It was a travel day today, but as usual I packed the day full of meetings, then got to the airport and tried to do more work. Going to Chicago is always interesting as it still feels like home to a certain extent. I had Portillo's tonight, but it ended up making me viciously sick. A lot of that was probably stress as I found out the PhD program at Western is on hold and there is a leaked draft that makes it clear Roe will probably be overturned.
Weather: It was cold and rainy today.
Moon Phase: Waxing Crescent 7%
Sunrise / Sunset: 6:18 am / 8:27 PM
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First Impressions: Chasing prosperity
Book: Reaching eagerly toward many projects
Guidance: Pause and reflect on your goals before chasing them all
Journaling:
This card captured my attention today because that's how I feel about life right now. I have so many good things going on in my life that it is hard to decide on just one path. I want to finish my degree, I want to continue to build my practice, I want a relationship, I want to travel, etc. etc. etc. However, one of the lessons that I've learned, and so have many other women that I know, is that you can't have it all at once. You might be able to have it all, but if you try to have it all at once, you will end up stressed and burned out. That's unfortunate and it often means that the things I want with my heart and not my head end up on the back burner because there is not enough time for it all. And sometimes it means that I have to choose one of the things I want with my heart and hope that they will lead to the other things.
Right now, I want to get my degree, but I also want to have healthy and consistent spiritual practices and what I'm finding is that it is really hard to do both. My taroting is a good example of that because I wrote my gratitudes for this post on 08/22, I picked the card a few days later, but I'm actually writing the post on 09/14. I've been trying to be more consistent about my taroting because it is important to me, but work and school keep getting in the way and while taroting is important to me spiritually, school also has a spiritual component because it is helping me to have insights about myself, who I really am, etc.
I guess the key is the same as the key is to everything else, doing the best I can every day and some days that is going to mean that I spend more time working on school and less on spiritual practices, but there will also be some days when I am able to actually make time for spiritual practices and spend less time on school work. I've also learned that trying to have a hard and fast approach to balance never works and I have to be willing and able to go with the flow.
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First Impressions: Plenty, growth, letting things grow around you
Book: You have poured yourself into a project, now it can carry itself
Guidance: Pause a moment, ponder the past, and assess the future, are things bearing fruit as you expected? Be patient and give yourself time to decide the next step
Journaling
This is not my favorite representation of the seven of pentacles, but I like this card because it has the energy of assessment and waiting. It is looking at what you've accomplished and trying to figure out what's next. This is where I'm at right now as I'm looking at my life and trying to figure out what's next. There is a part of me that wants to say F* it all and go back to school full time, but I also know that I can't afford to do that so I have to figure out how to get where I want to be while still working full time. I know that saying F* it and walking away is not the answer, which leaves me with deciding whether to stay or go at my current job.
As I read this, I think I have my answer as I'm realizing that my job gives me what I want and need as I have the time to work on school and to continue moving forward while still getting paid. That is a good feeling. I don't like the thought of being poor, but I also am kind of bored with work. I think where I'm at right now is that I can have my cake and eat it as I get paid a significant amount of money and I do have time to work on school
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Book: Months, nurturing his garden, harvest to be reaped, anxiety over the future
Guidance: Time for patience, try not to be anxious, ponder your next move
Journaling
This is a reminder just like all the truths that slow and steady wins the race. I can't undo 50 years of bad habits in a short amount of time. I need to take the time to truly build a relationship with my body and nurture it. That is especially important if I am choosing to go the natural route and not do drugs. I have to build and nurture this relationship and I need to make it a priority. That means the big things like not traveling overnight to the little things like drinking enough water. I need to take care of me and I don't do a really good job of that.
Dearest ones,
Please help me to love and nurture my body and to do the things I need to do to feel better.
Blessed Be,
Raine
December 27, 2018
I used to hate this card because it was a reminder that I could not change everything overnight. However, I've learned to appreciate it because it tells me that with a little bit of effort and patience I will see changes. I have started to see those changes as my blood sugar is inching my way down and when I do the right things, it is in a good place. My body is actually very responsive when I treat it with love and respect. I'm also realizing that slow is better and my goal for 2018 is to do something every day. I don't have to be a kamikazi and walk a million miles a day, but I do have to get out and do something even if it is just a walk around the block.
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