Sacred Sunday: Creativity--Judgement

I discovered The Radiant Tarot a few months ago and I really love it because each card not only has a meaning, it also has a creative project to go along with it.  My goal for the next few months is to do a Sacred Sunday creativity project to explore the cards using these prompts.  I may not be perfect about it, but I'm going to give it a go.

I pulled Judgement today and I really love this card as it depicts a faery with butterfly wings who is rising above a rabbit and a tombstone.  The reading for the card is about doing an honest and critical judgement of yourself.  However, this isn't about beating yourself up, it is about identifying attributes (strengths, weaknesses, emotional characteristics, etc.) that you like and don't like.  And if there are characteristics you don't like, it is about taking action to change them.  Interestingly, this same topic came up in the Trauma reading that I did yesterday with the Tarot of Trees.

The Creative Project for Judgement was to sit in front of a mirror and look at yourself.  The guidance was to focus on your breath, but to not take your eyes off of yourself in the mirror.  I don't have a large mirror that is in a conveient place to sit, so I chose to do this exercise with a heavy hand mirror.  I took off my glasses and held the mirror so that I could really study my face.  There are things that I don't like (my double chin, the stray hairs, etc.).  However, there are also things that I do like, the serene look in my eyes and the fact that I mostly look and am happy.  I hate looking at photos of myself when I was with John because I always looked so beaten down and angry.  That anger is gone for the most part, but I don't ever want to forget, because I don't want to ever put myself in that situation again.

As I continue to reflect on the face in the mirror, I realize that I see my parents and grandparents in my face more than I ever have before.  My curly gray hair reminds me of my grandmother and my eyes are my father's.  My mother is there too in the shape of my face, but my smile is all my own.  I also see an elder looking back at me and not a young person.  The elder is a role I've been stepping into lately with mentoring people at work, but it isn't a role I am wholly comfortable with.  There is a part of me that feels I'm not there yet, that it isn't my time to guide and lead.  However, I'm becoming more comfortable with this role.

The last bit of guidance for this project was to write a love letter to myself.

Dearest Raine,

You have come so far from that scared young girl who was terrified that people wouldn't like her.  You've always said yes to adventure and change and that has served you well.  You've traveled the world, but more importantly you've worked to explore and traverse your inner landscape.  In some ways, the inner landscape is more terrifying than the outer.  However, you have done both with grace.

You're also learning to show yourself grace and that self love is one of the most important skills that you will every learn.  At the end of the day, you are the only one you have to rely on so learning to love yourself is important.

Blessings,

Yourself