August 29, 2022
First Impressions: I love this card as it shows a female standing in front of fire with a crow on her shoulder. To me this card is very Morrigan-esque
Book: I know what I stand for. I know how to protect it. I am fire
Guidance: Step into your power
Journaling:
I love this reminder to step into my power, but there are times this is extremely difficult. I feel that way right now as there is part of me that feels I am running away and not living in my power. I am so unhappy and work and if I had to name one thing that was driving me away, I would honestly say the Evil M. She is such a fucking know it all bitch and I can't stand her. The Idiot B is actually second to her because I have to deal with her more often and she is just such a pushy bitch. I could not believe that yesterday after I gave my announcement, she had to reclaim the attention. She just cannot stand to not be the center of attention. I don't know how to combat that, because actually her boss should shut her down. I am starting to wonder if he doesn't shut her down because Asshole B. is the one that wanted to hire her.
I guess stepping into my power can also mean making the best decisions for me.
Where I'm At: I had to go into the office today and it sucked. I didn't have the final confirmation on my new job yet so I had to sit there and pretend to be engaged. I did turn in my resignation in the evening, but I hated sitting there all day and pretending.
Weather: It was hot today. I took the Bento beast to work and about died on the way home with no air conditioner
Moon Phase: Waxing Crescent 5%
Sunrise / Sunset: 6:48 / 8:05
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July 25, 2022
Deck: Secrets of the Rose Tarot
Card Name: Seven of Batons
First Impressions: There is definately Christian symbolism in this card as the man is fighting with a seven headed snake and we all know snakes are generally representative of the goddess. The thing that is super strange about this card for me is that the man is naked. I'm not sure what's up with that.
Book: Best outcome by sustained effort, opposition defeated, valor, debate and negotiation, positive changes, knowledge
Guidance: Prevail against all obstacles
Journaling:
From a modern perspective, this card speaks to me of multitasking and of having to continually juggle multiple tasks. However, the older I get the more I realize that multitasking really isn't a time saver and that you lose focus when you multitask. I know that when I work and watch TV, I generally only pick up the bare minimum of the plot. What i am really starting to learn is that life is all sacred and we should treat it as such. The more that we try to do and the thinner we are stretched, the less successful we are at anything. Life as a whole should be treated with reverence and I don't think we do that. I think we work to rush though life and get as much done as possible without savoring the opportunities that life gives us to be present.
I've also realized that deep seated gratitude and reverence cannot be rushed. It is something that needs to be done slowly and with deep seated gratitude. As I come to realize this, I am working to slow life down and really approach life in all its forms with reverence and gratitude.
Where I'm At: It's just 8 am and I am sitting in the messy house with the dogs. I spent a great 45 minutes upstairs meditating and saying prayers and I cam downstairs in such a peaceful mood.
Weather: It's cool and wet outside. It stormed overnight so the ground and cushions are still wet, which means the Great Wendini does not want to sit outside today.
Moon Phase: Waning Crescent 9%
Sunrise / Sunset: 6:12/ 8:52
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December 31, 2021
Deck: Tarot of the Divine
First Impressions: Defend what you believe in, stand up for what is right
Book: Endurance, attack, fighting for beliefs, perserverance
Guidance: Stand up for what you believe in and fight till the bitter end
Journaling
What is missing in this card is that you have to know when to walk away. Sometimes fighting till the bitter end only leaves you exhausted or harmed. There are times when walking away is the right thing to do. I know if I had read this card ten years ago, I would have jumped on the bandwagon that you always have to fight till the bitter end no matter wht the cause. However, what I've learned is that sometimes you need to walk away to fight another day.
There are so many battles going on in our country right now and so many that I feel I cannot impact at all. We are fighting social injustices that leave people of color dead, we are fighting against people who refuse to get indoctrinated, and we are fighting people who still think Trump won. It is a dizzying and depressing maelstrom of anger and injustice and there are a lot of days when I just want to crawl into bed and put my head under the covers.
Maybe what John Henry is telling me isn't to keep fighting, but keep persisting. This could be a reminder to keep putting one foot in front of the other; to get up when staying in bed seems easier. Maybe this is just a reminder that life is worth it and that I make the world better by my presence. I honestly don't know, but I do know that there are a lot of days when the world seems so dark and black that getting up seems difficult.
I'll continue to reflect on this card and maybe more wisdom will present itself.
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August 16, 2019
Deck: Tarot de St. Croix
First Impressions: Fierce, defending what's yours
Book: Marching to defend their land
Guidance: Stand up for what you believe in
Journaling
It felt like a day that I needed to defend what was mine. I feel my vacation slipping through my fingers and there is a part of me that feels as if I will never truly have time for myself as everyone comes and keeps taking bits and pieces of my time. It seems as if there is no way to defend my time as people keep taking bits and pieces of it and every bit of time that gets eroded seems to leave me a little bit less for me. I worked really hard to make this week my week and to not get sucked into work, but people kept reaching out and asking for things. The final straw for me was when Ted asked if we could meet on Saturday. That felt like an incredible violation because I have very little time for myself and to have someone want to take that little bit of time away from me was pretty upsetting.
I was proud of myself for saying no and for being honest about how I felt. It was really hard to be honest and to say that I felt ganged up on and disrespected, but I did. I think part of the reason that I was able to do that is that I didn't really care if I lost my job. I was so tired of all of it that it would have almost have been a relief to get fired. I'm so tired trying to do all the work that keeps piling up and trying to juggle everything. It seems like the only way I could get it all done is to work all night, but I refuse to do that because there are a lot of other things that are more important to me.
I don't know what the solution is, but I do know that I have to continue to defend my boundaries because if I don't defend them, no one else will.
Gratitudes
I'm grateful we got home safely
I'm grateful for the beautiful drive through the mountains
I'm grateful that Charmin was happy to get the flowers
I'm grateful that I stood up for myself
I'm grateful for the hugs on the way out the door
I'm grateful for Cam keeping me awake
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July 17, 2019
Deck: Herbal Tarot
Deck: Herbal tarot
Dearest ones,
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| Gilded Tarot Pulled Reversed |
Deck: Gilded Tarot
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